08 February 2010

Once Upon A Lighthouse

On days like today, as a week of care-less freedom confronts me, that I consider my aspirations of being a lighthouse keeper. Many years past, I heard tell of an opening for the job of caring for a lighthouse. Though I was not entirely certain what that meant, I became obsessed with the idea. I fantasized about it, and still do.

In my imagination, being a lighthouse keeper is a solitary job. One literally lives inside of one's work. I would set up a modest space, mainly with frilly bits of lace and a large crate (or three) of books. During my contracted stint I would read, be all sorts of introspective, and accomplish a great deal of the writing projects I have begun. Though I am a social creature, I prefer to be social on my own terms. This means that I like the freedom to withdraw, as a turtle would into his shell. Having a family has been for me, somewhat difficult on this level. I can never fully withdraw. Nor do I want to, but those moments of solitude that I so treasure, are fewer than I would care to mention. Luckily, I have an extremely understanding lover who is willing to cart the wee ones off for their adventure, as I take a few moments for mine.

So, as a week of freedom, dubbed Spring Break, washes over me, I consider what it would be like to spend that time in a lighthouse. Each morning taking my tea by the sea; watching waves and they beat against the cliff that I envision my lighthouse rests upon. Climbing stairs to be closer to the stars at night. Breathing in fully the fresh, saltwater air.....

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