My Crafty Side

I made some very important decisions last night. I love making things, to the point where, if I am not creating something new, I feel a bit anxious and unfulfilled. That is one of the reasons that I began my etsy shop.  I wanted to make what I love more than just a hobby.  However, I believe that the shop has taken from me some of the love that I have for the craft-ing.

I have not been terribly successful on Etsy. I think that the amount of time and self promotion that is needed to stand out from the crowd, is more than I really want to invest. I want to just be free to make the things that I love most, and not have to try to market them as well.  It is just too much effort and energy doing something I really don't care to do.

So, I have decided to let the listings in my Etsy shop expire.  I shall no longer pursue that avenue for peddling my wares.  I don't know if this is a permanent, but it is definite for right now.  I am very serious about being the writer I claim to be, and so I need to clear my plate of  several activities that get in the way of my progress.

Currently I am in the research phase of a book that I have to write.  This book requires my concentration and is calling my name.  Until further notice, I am hanging up the Etsy hat.

The Letter

I sit here, the letter that I had written to my Grandmother still within my sight....

I spent two very glorious, yet very sad days with my ailing grandmother last week.  My grandmother was dying of lung cancer, and rather than attend her funeral, I chose to spend what little money that I had saved up, on a plane ticket to go and be in her presence.

Cancer is an evil, terrible, horrible disease that should be eradicated from our universe.  To see someone you love so emaciated that you can bear witness to each and every bone within their body. To be in constant pain, each and every day, a pain that copious doses of morphine, oxycottons, and various other pills cannot but dull a little.  To have to trade awareness and lucidity for a reprieve from suffering..... only to drown in your own bed...... I hate Cancer......

I was blessed to be able to see my Grandmother before she passed.  I will forever be grateful of the time spent. The hospice where she was for her last few months of life was operated by this amazing family.  They allowed me to spend the night with her and care for her as much as I was able.


As I packed up my stuff, she told me that she wished I didn't have to go.  I agreed that I would prefer to stay a bit longer, but that I was unable. She understood, but asked that I not forget her, and that I write a letter.  I promised to do so. I kept that promise too.  I wrote to her the very next morning after I arrived home.  I was going to stamp it and send it to her..... when I got the news......

Crazy Busy in this Crazy Life!!

So, as you may recall from my last post, I am busy working on my boutique and getting life in line for doing that.  The space that we had been offered did not work out as planned.  This, indeed, was a disappointment, but not the end for Modern Edwardian.  Our search continues to find a more ideal space for our physical presence.

In the meantime, I have been working on our website.  It is coming along quite nicely.  I cannot wait to have something to publish online and share with you all.  I am hoping that will be possible in just a short month!!

In other news, (very exciting news, indeed), my work has been featured on a blog!! YEAH!  GreenMan's Grotto is the name of the blog.  You really must check it out.  It is fabulous.  Just click on the Green Man below to be transported....

Once Upon A Lighthouse

On days like today, as a week of care-less freedom confronts me, that I consider my aspirations of being a lighthouse keeper. Many years past, I heard tell of an opening for the job of caring for a lighthouse. Though I was not entirely certain what that meant, I became obsessed with the idea. I fantasized about it, and still do.

In my imagination, being a lighthouse keeper is a solitary job. One literally lives inside of one's work. I would set up a modest space, mainly with frilly bits of lace and a large crate (or three) of books. During my contracted stint I would read, be all sorts of introspective, and accomplish a great deal of the writing projects I have begun. Though I am a social creature, I prefer to be social on my own terms. This means that I like the freedom to withdraw, as a turtle would into his shell. Having a family has been for me, somewhat difficult on this level. I can never fully withdraw. Nor do I want to, but those moments of solitude that I so treasure, are fewer than I would care to mention. Luckily, I have an extremely understanding lover who is willing to cart the wee ones off for their adventure, as I take a few moments for mine.

So, as a week of freedom, dubbed Spring Break, washes over me, I consider what it would be like to spend that time in a lighthouse. Each morning taking my tea by the sea; watching waves and they beat against the cliff that I envision my lighthouse rests upon. Climbing stairs to be closer to the stars at night. Breathing in fully the fresh, saltwater air.....

Transgressions

I have forsaken my journal this holiday season. First it was a super intense semester that required the majority of my intentions, now it is... Inspiration!

I suppose that it is purely in relaxing that one is able to grab hold of one's inspiration. Almost immediately, after finishing my courses, I was struck by ideas that found their way to delicious and fabulous. Since then I have been doing a great deal of writing. I have been writing a great deal since then. Currently, I am working on a couple of short films. One of these I might like to turn into a graphic novel. It would be amusing in that form....

The very fancy list of books that I laid out to read during the break has barely been touched. However, I have been doing a great deal of reading. So far I have read Odd and the Frost Giants by Neil Gaiman, The Magician's Elephant by Kate DiCamillo, and am working on The View From the Bridge by Nicholas Meyer, along with a few others. I like laying out the plans, that gives me sense of purpose, but I am also comfortable with deviation.